octopus' garden

orangina
June 24, 2011, 05:30 PM posted in General Discussion

There are a few grammar mistakes, and not all the characters are as pretty as I would like.... but this song has a lot of prepositional phrases..... in fact it it almost completely comprised of prepositional phrases. So many prepositional phrases! 

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 04:30 PM

wow, immediately on opening it I'm blown away..that's awesome orangina. The artist in you comes to the fore [both handwriting and background which looks so Chinese and pretty]. Hey, we're on a beatles themed week...fool on the hill, octopus' garden. I'm thinking of eight days a week as the next one [wishing I could get an extra day for this, hehe]

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 04:35 PM

Taking more of a look now, this handwriting is superb..so easy to read, so well spaced. Mate, this is something to aspire to.

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 04:43 PM

我想在章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 05:12 PM

I'd really love to stay up and type out the rest, but it's after 3am here and gotta go, and perhaps I should share the joy of typing yours out anyway. Well done orangina. :)

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orangina

Thanks! It was fun! Thanks for setting up this group.

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zhenlijiang
June 24, 2011, 05:16 PM

急,怎么打不开?! 很想看哦

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orangina

Yeah, I've already stayed up past my bedtime trying to get it on photobucket. I did, but it is really tiny. Maybe I'll put that up for now, and work on it tomorrow.... not sure what else to do!

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zhenlijiang

嗯 it's past all our bedtimes. Is the attachment a Word file? Can't wait to see it but I'll come back tomorrow and try again I guess

~晚安~

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orangina

success! I hope you waited up 5 more minutes....

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zhenlijiang

Oh! It's stunning. Wows. 跟 Baba 同感,blows me away Orangina. How long does it take you to do something like this?

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orangina

I don't know how long it took me.... quite a while, but much of that was translating (did I mention the abundance of prepositional phrases?) and then I had technical issues with my scanner, and then photobucket was slow and wanted my picture to be really tiny. Oh, and I tried to sign up for a photobucket account only to discover I already had one. So actually writing the text was, in retrospect, one of the easier parts of the endeavor! Thus my lack of commenting on what everyone else shared. But I needed to resolve my scanner and photobucket issues anyway, so it wasn't wasted time. Tomorrow I can come back fresh to admire everyone's work.

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 10:47 PM

ok, looks like no-one else is jumping at the chance, so I'll finish it off:

我想在章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆。

他让我们进入,知道我们从那里来。。。 【应该是“哪里”?】

在他章鱼的花园在阴凉处。

我问问朋友跟我来看章鱼的花园

我想在章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆。

我们在下波浪的小世外桃源下暴风

保暖。

在近洞的章鱼花园里面的海床休

息头。

因为我们知道我们是找不到的,我们会唱又跳舞到处

我想在章鱼的花园在阴凉处呆。

我们会乐喊叫又游水【应该是“泳”?】,在下波浪的珊瑚

处呆。

哦,怎么喜乐,每个女和男子孩知道快乐

又安全的。

你和我会感到真快乐,在那没有人

告诉我们应该做什么。

我想跟你在章鱼的花园呆。

我想跟你在章鱼的花园呆。

我想跟你在章鱼的花园呆

哇,恭喜恭喜。。。那么清楚。。很容易读

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orangina

谢谢! You are probably right about 哪。I used the no口那 because it is a statement , not a question.... but it is still "where" not "there".

The dictionary had both 游水 and 游泳 for swimming. I chose 游水 because 游泳 seemed more about sports, not just splashing about and enjoying yourself. It was an executive decision and I take full responsibility for my actions.

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bababardwan

”It was an executive decision and I take full responsibility for my actions“

哈哈,很好。Actually there was a discussion of this somewhere recently...I remember John saying something about it, but I thought he was talking about 游 on it's own and didn't realise 水 got involved but I think I was multitasking at the time and you know how it is with males and multitasking, hehe. ...or maybe I saw something shiny...that was it.

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babyeggplant
June 24, 2011, 11:02 PM

Wow! I'm impressed. 

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orangina

thanks!

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bababardwan
June 24, 2011, 11:35 PM

Sorry, I've just gotta say again how much I love the artistry of this. I love the way there are waves at the top and then their are little fingers of water going in to the lyrics down the page giving a sense of depth and then the octopus and his garden appropriately at the bottom, safe and {warm?]. It adds so much to the lyrics...so in sync with them. How beautiful that would be in a childrens book.

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orangina

Ooo! Ringo Starr and I could collaborate!

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bababardwan
June 25, 2011, 12:42 AM

Aside from the visual treat here, what I am most pleased about from a personal point of view is how easy I found it to read. This is a revelation to me. I had a nagging suspicion that I would only be able to read typed stuff that is in standard format [and wouldn't recognise anything outside of that], and that reading handwriting would be a character by character exercise in deciphering that I would soon tire of. So it's so nice to know it was so easy. I read the vast majority of it as fast as I would read English. What a pleasure. The only times I had to stop was for the odd character I didn't know, or didn't know well enough and had to look them up, just as I would with a rollover for typed stuff. Sure I know that some handwriting will be hard to decipher [just as it is in English though likely a lot harder as there are only 26 letters and as we know 80,000+ characters and they can be much more complex] but this gives me hope, and has shown that handwriting can be easy to read. Thanks orangina for sharing it with us. :)

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orangina

I'm very happy you liked it, but remember, I am not exactly a native writer. Or anywhere close. I primarily learned to write by copying typed characters. If anything, I write l like an elementary school kid. I am writing, and not just drawing the characters, but far more carefully than a local person.

I think one of the biggest benefits of learning to write on real paper is that you get a feel for the motion of the character. You learn the character in 3 dimensions: height, width and time. Then, when you see a native person's writing, it is a bit easier to read because the motion is familiar. You are adding muscle memory to your arsenal of learning tools. Now that's not to say I am great at reading native writers' handwriting... but I think it helps.