第一回: Chunk 4
henning
July 13, 2008, 08:24 AM posted in General Discussion当此, 则自欲将已往所赖天恩祖德, 锦衣纨绔之时, 饫甘餍肥之日, 背父兄教育之恩, 负师友规谈之德, 以至今日一技无成,半生潦倒之罪,编述一集,以告天下人:我之罪 固不免, 然闺阁中本自历历有人,万不可因我之不肖,自护己短,一并使其泯灭也.
My try:
Therefore I am longing for those formerly times of milk and honey which relied on the good deeds of the forefathers (which have been inherited from the forefathers). Bearing the positive education of the rules of my father’s generation and the virtues discussed with teachers and friends – not even a single skill became satisfying, half (my) lifetime I disappointed.
I compose this story to tell the world – my sins are utterly unavoidable. But in the lady’s chambers there is clearly and naturally someone who absolutely should not due to my unworthiness and shortcomings be – along with the others –be spoiled.
Breakdown:
So (当此), therefore (则) I desire (自欲)
Passive with 将 (functions like 把 here)
已往所赖天恩祖德
the past (已往) [days -->之日c.f. below] relying (赖) on the good deeds (天恩祖德) of the forefathers
锦衣纨绔饫甘餍肥之日,
The days full of good clothes (锦衣纨绔) and sweet and rich (lit. “fat”) food (饫甘餍肥)
背父兄教育之恩
Carrying (背) the kindness of the education (教育之恩) of the father’s generation (父兄)
负师友规谈之德,
bearing (负) the virtues (之德) of the rules discussed (谈) with teachers and friends (师友)
以至今日一技无成,
up to (以至) today (今日) where not even one skill is up to par (一技无成)
半生潦倒之罪,
Half a lifetime (半生) disappointing (潦倒) the sin (之罪) [the sin of disappointing]
编述一集,
composing (编述) this work (一集)
以告天下人:
by telling the people in the world
我之罪固不免,
my sins are utterly (固?) unavoidable (不免)
然闺阁中
But (然) in this lady’s chamber (闺阁中)
本自历历有人,
naturally (本自?) clearly (历历) there is someone (有人)
万不可因我之不肖,
absolutely cannot (万不可) [à should not] because of me being unworthy (因我之不肖)
自护己短,.
Having deficits [?]
一并使其泯灭也
Along with the others (一并)
Let them (使其) be spoiled (泯灭) / be destroyed
liansuo
July 13, 2008, 12:43 PMSeeing how much space a post like the one above takes: please unclutter the site and delete such monsters of mine when they have done their job or proved useless. I would do it myself but I think I can't.
henning
July 13, 2008, 01:16 PMliansuo,
don't worry. I will look in more detail at it tomorrow to identify the relevant delta, learn from it, and discuss the results here.
liansuo
July 26, 2008, 10:16 AMChangye sensei, since Derek is seriously doing his taxes and just in case you have a bored moment, here is a question which has been bothering me for a while now. It concerns chunk 5. When I was struck with the idea of construing it into one long sentence, I felt las if I was walking a tight-rope and was reminded of my old days translating Latin in grammar school. I would never have thought that Chinese was able of such feats – (and most likely it is not – that is exactly what I want to know)- but again: it seemed to make sense, like a long-held phrase in a piece of music, and I was seduced. It is not, as in Latin, syntactic and formal ties which keep the whole thing together but the parallelisms of the enumerated facts, maybe also some stereotypical wording. You do not have to give me lots of proof for this being a hare-brained idea – a simple Forget it! will do to warn me off from further antics.
changye
July 27, 2008, 03:01 AMHi guys,
This part is rather tricky. The problem is that the character 将 covers a very long portion, which makes us readers confused. The same can be said of the phrase “万不可”. I hope that the following colored-version would help you translate these sentences.
自欲将 (把) [ 已往所赖天恩祖德, 锦衣纨绔之时, 饫甘餍肥之日, 背父兄教育之恩, 负师友规谈之德, 以至今日一技无成,半生潦倒之罪 ] 编述一集
I would like to write about "red-colored part".
万不可 [ ( 因我之不肖,自护己短 ) 一并使其泯灭也。]
It is unforgivable to ruin them because of my unworthiness and excuses.
--------------------------------------------------------------
当此, (here, hereat), 则(then)自(I)欲(would like to)将( = 把)已往(hitherto)所赖(depend on)天恩祖德, 锦衣纨绔之时, 饫甘餍肥之日, 背(违背, disobey)父兄教育之恩, 负(辜负, let down, fail to meet expectations)师友规谈之德, 以至今日(up to this time)一技无成, 半生潦倒之罪, 编述一集,
以 (hereby) 告天下人: 我之罪固(固然, admittedly)不免(unforgivable), 然(然而, however)闺阁中’本自’(原来, originally)历历(clearly)有人(there are people),
万不可(千万不可以, absolutely not allowed)因我之不肖(due to my unworthy),自(我, I)护(辩护, excuse)己短(自己的短处, shortcoming),一并(together)使(把)其(i.e. people in 闺阁)泯灭(ruin)也(interjection)
liansuo
July 27, 2008, 09:42 AM
Changye sensei, thank you so much for checking up the old chunks.-- To tell you the truth: this is the sentence I meant with my last post (I made a mistake there)-- this was the tight-rope experience between 将 and the 编述... So it is possible! 善哉，善哉! But then I did not get the part with the ruined women. 万不可 is obviously something to be said as a (self) admonishment in the presence, like （你）千 萬 別。 Actually I am still not quite sure, logically, what to make of this. Are those women with him now, sharing his humble abode? Does he mean that he is going to save them from perdition through poverty by writing this novel and cheering them up? Is he hoping for a financial success?
Do disregard my questions if they are beside the point. But I have read so much for so long, entirely left to my own devices and a few dictionaries that I cannot resist the chance...
changye
July 27, 2008, 02:03 PMHi liansuo,
Let me see....., how about this example. When you write your autobiography, you still need to be careful not make your (many) ex-boyfriends lose face, don't you?
liansuo
July 27, 2008, 07:04 PMIt took me a while to get this -- I guess I was blinded by the splendour of those fictitious ex-boy-friends ;) -- This is a promise of discretion then? Very reassuring for the ladies! Thank you, Changye sensei -- that really was beyond me.
liansuo
July 13, 2008, 10:13 AMHenning – this is what I came up with after pondering your version on top of my former attempts. See how it inspires your next move. It is really not a matter of showing off on this site– just a delightful muddling through, isn’t it? And since you are not yet drowning in comments...
当此, considering this
则自欲将 I would like to (syntactically go on to ****
已往所赖天恩祖德, having enjoyed privileges of birth
锦衣纨绔之时, fine clothing
饫甘餍肥之日, the best of food
背 turning away from 父兄教育之恩, the admonishments of my elders and betters
负 betraying 师友规谈之德, the gift of my teachers’ ruling
以至今日一技无成, therefore not achieving one skill to this day
半生潦倒 having wasted half my life
*****之罪, those (i.e. all of the above – prodigal son stuff) sins
编述一集, narrate in order and completely
以告天下人: and tell everyone:
我之罪 固不免, I insisted on selfishness
(or my sin is unforgivable?)
然闺阁中本自历历有人,
although in my womens’ chambers there was clearly a person (or several?? One cannot tell, can one?)
万不可 who had no chance
因我之不肖, because of my unworthiness
自护己短, my denying my faults
一并使其泯灭也.
to make any of them disappear.