I've recently got engaged, but it has been a long road, and a lot of reassurance needed for my fiance's parents, as I regularly get told that 'all westerners (we're all the same btw!) get divorced, but Chinese never get divorced' etc.

I haven't spent too much time actually in China, but does anyone have comments on what it's actually like there? I 听说 that a lot of families just live apart, in different cities etc rather than formally getting divorced?  Isn't that effectivly the same thing, just with less 'losing face'?

Divorces occur, although certainly not nearly as often as in America. A couple living in my building is in the process of getting a divorce. I think this will become more common as time goes on, and is probably already more common in the bigger cities.

I was glad I was ablet to hear the lesson I have been having some problems getting chinesepod in internet. I have to click in the address often several times. What can cause this? zie zie Jennie

I was glad I was ablet to hear the lesson I have been having some problems getting chinesepod in internet. I have to click in the address often several times. What can cause this? zie zie Jennie

Your profile says that you're in Germany. Is that correct? It's possible the site was down yesterday for a few brief moments, but there were not major connection problems. Are you still having trouble getting online?

JC

jennyzhu in reply to grahambond：

We are very sorry for the confusion. We didn't say that actually you can use 了 with 住 in structure Jiaojie highlighted, 在+place+住了+time. But you can't say 住了+place.

I can getto chinesepod easier now, but when I put in the address "chinesepod.com". I just get a blank sheet, When I put in "chinesepod.com dashbord" it at least worked today. Compications of internet!

Xie xie ri hen hao(?) Have a good day Jennifer

What browser and OS are you using?

And, I've heard so much how society is more traditional here, but married men flock to special KTVs in droves, meanwhile maintaining the appearance of a normal, "good boy" marriage.

Fascinating book on the topic called The Myth of Monogamy, Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and Humans, by Baresh.

Dilu, don't let society, your friends, etc. pressure you. It's you that has to live your life, not they. They can never live it. Be happy. If you aren't happy, time to look to other horizons. Find out what does or will make you happy. If it's possible to have it or get it, and still be happy and secure, then go for it. But what that happy thing is, you decide. Not me or anyone else, but you, and you alone. Because you are the one that will live that wonderful, happy thing called your life. And when you come to the end of it, you won't be happy if you've let yourself be pressured into something that made you unhappy. The older I get, the more certain I am of these words because I remember the happiest times for me came when I chose freely, wisely, securely, and healthily.