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Say It Right Series

lavender marriage: 形式结婚

Posted by lydia1981 November 25, 2008 in the Group General Discussion.

Tags: lavender marriage, gay, 形式结婚

If you're gay in China, it's often very hard to tell your parents. They had other other expectations, wanting you to lead a 'normal' life, have children etcetera. To live up to their parents expectations, many gay and lesbian Chinese want to find a partner for a '形式结婚’,a marriage between gays and les (拉拉)as a method to conceal their sexuality.

At an internetforum (http://www.15880.com/) I found an online marriage ad from a gay male who wants to find a lesbian to have a 形式结婚:

"由于自己的恋爱观念和别的人不一样,我离家出走过,我也轻生过,但最后我还是忘不了家,我选择了回家,开始我想着把自己的真正想法告诉家里,但看到父母那苍老的面孔,我的心软了,我不忍在让他们再受打击,我又一次隐瞒了真相。我宁愿所有的痛苦由我来承担,
年龄在一天一天的长大,和自己同龄甚至比自己小的人都结婚有小孩了,我的压力很大。所以我不得不考虑一个以前连想都不愿想的问题,形式结婚。我现在没有别的办法。所以我想有想形式结婚的拉拉,我们可以谈一下,共同为父母,为自己圆一个善意的谎言。共同把以后的日子撑下去!!"

恋爱观念 - concept of love

苍老的面孔 - pale faces

受打击 - suffer blows

隐瞒 - cover ... up

形式结婚 - lavender marriage

拉拉 - lesbian

善意的谎言 - white lie

撑下去 - keep up, hold up

What do you think of such a marriage? Is it a good solution for gays and lesbians in China?

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