lavender marriage: 形式结婚

lydia1981

November 25, 2008, 03:07 PM posted in General Discussion

If you're gay in China, it's often very hard to tell your parents. They had other other expectations, wanting you to lead a 'normal' life, have children etcetera. To live up to their parents expectations, many gay and lesbian Chinese want to find a partner for a '形式结婚’，a marriage between gays and les （拉拉）as a method to conceal their sexuality.

At an internetforum (http://www.15880.com/) I found an online marriage ad from a gay male who wants to find a lesbian to have a 形式结婚:

"由于自己的恋爱观念和别的人不一样，我离家出走过，我也轻生过，但最后我还是忘不了家，我选择了回家，开始我想着把自己的真正想法告诉家里，但看到父母那苍老的面孔，我的心软了，我不忍在让他们再受打击，我又一次隐瞒了真相。我宁愿所有的痛苦由我来承担，
年龄在一天一天的长大，和自己同龄甚至比自己小的人都结婚有小孩了，我的压力很大。所以我不得不考虑一个以前连想都不愿想的问题，形式结婚。我现在没有别的办法。所以我想有想形式结婚的拉拉，我们可以谈一下，共同为父母，为自己圆一个善意的谎言。共同把以后的日子撑下去！！"

恋爱观念 - concept of love

苍老的面孔 - pale faces

受打击 - suffer blows

隐瞒 - cover ... up

形式结婚 - lavender marriage

拉拉 - lesbian

善意的谎言 - white lie

撑下去 - keep up, hold up

What do you think of such a marriage? Is it a good solution for gays and lesbians in China?