iOS Users: Please click here for the latest information: (updated 5.10.2016)
Say It Right Series

How to tell someone, "I'm not your friend"

Posted by amphivera December 18, 2007 in the Group General Discussion.

Apologies in advance if I come off as a total jerk, but I was wondering if anyone can suggest a good way to politely decline the advances of those folks who declare, "we're friends!" when you were only introduced to them 10 minutes ago. I'm talking about so-called "language rapists."

 I enjoy making Chinese friends, but I'm a pretty introverted person, and I like to do it on my own pace. Because of the small number of foreigners who live in my city, I get a lot of Chinese acquaintances (meaning, people I was introduced to in passing) who call me up and want to hang out (unfortunately I don't have caller-ID). I wouldn't mind this if these people weren't a) overtly using me for the purpose of practicing their English b) clingy and c) share no similarities with me whatsover - in other words - boring to hang out with. Sometimes I feel bad because I do think that some people who approach me do so based on genuine interest but I generally get turned off on the slightest hint of English "opportunism."

Am I just being cranky? Paranoid? How do you tell someone (in Chinese, of course) you don't really want to hang out with them without hurting their feelings. I've tried the "I don't have time" too many times. A C-Pod lesson on a several, subtle deflectionary phrases would be most welcome. 

Comments (165) RSS

loading... Updating ...

To comment, please login.

Not sure if your comment is appropriate? Check our Commenting Policy first.

New lesson idea? Please contact us.