User Comments - Grambers

Posted on: Buying a Book

Thanks!

Posted on: Pregnancy Series 10: Postnatal Recuperation

I couldn't agree more. This whole discussion has echoes of the never-ending Religion vs Science debate, and - as you can guess - I definitely come down (mainly) on the science side of things. That said, I do think it's worth making a couple of important distinctions on the religious side of things. While all religions ask followers to believe in a central myth that, almost by definition, cannot be scientifically proven, different religions use the faith that is generated in different ways. Some religions (the Catholic strand of Christianity springs to mind) use this faith to enforce rules and regulations which are restrictive, and fundamentally negative in the way they play constantly on 'fear'. Other religions use the same 'unscientific' basis to promote compassion, understanding, joy etc.etc. and which can be described as fundamentally 'positive' in their outlook. I guess I could go further and say some PEOPLE use religions in these two different ways (ie. there are some very good Catholics and some quite dastardly Buddhists, I'm sure). I wouldn't sign up to either, myself, but I see less of a problem in superstitions which are used for compassionate and humane ends, and those which are used to frighten people.

Posted on: Pregnancy Series 10: Postnatal Recuperation

All good points, well made, zhenijiang. I agree, I think the longer this discussion goes on, the more we get dragged towards a 中医 vs 西医 debate. Now that IS an interesting discussion on which I have similar views; the way many people (particularly in the West) have blind faith in pills to cure all ills without understanding deeper issues is really depressing. On the other hand, Chinese medicine - though it patently has some underlying merit - is full of absurdly superstitious 'kinks' and its users too often seem to draw totally false conclusions about its efficacy (ie. when it appears to work, it's 'PROOF', when it doesn't, it's because some arcane aspect of the preparation wasn't done quite correctly, or the stars weren't properly aligned etc.etc.). I have tried, and I am trying, to keep an open mind on Chinese Medicine. However, the fact it lacks an agreed, testifiable scientific base does trouble me somewhat.

Posted on: Buying a Book

Can anyone recommend me a decent 小说. I'm looking for something reasonably short, reasonably straightforward but yet still suitable for a man of modest maturity in his early thirties - a real novel please. No teen-vampire tales and definitely nothing related to 明朝 (as interesting as that era was).

Any advice would be much, much appreciated. Thanks:) 

Posted on: Pregnancy Series 10: Postnatal Recuperation

To get away from the politics and controversy for a moment, can I just say thanks for an excellent explanation of 才 in the grammar section. It's one of those words that I've struggled with for years and never really mastered. This may just get me there!  

Posted on: Pregnancy Series 10: Postnatal Recuperation

下一个阶段就是“七年之痒”！

Posted on: Pregnancy Series 10: Postnatal Recuperation

This sounds like a very rational explanation, Jenny, and I totally understand the urge to honour traditions. But, to my mind, most people who 坐月子 are not doing so to honour tradition. They are doing so because they are cowed by the threat of future health problems etc.etc. They are scared by superstition, and this is the point where I can't really accept Yuezi as a cuddly 'cultural' artefact anymore.

Don't get me wrong, having witnessed childbirth twice and helped my wife recuperate (though probably not very well), I do appreciate how tough the process is, and how resting is important. But imposing what seem to be arbitrary and unscientific conditions on the process (in terms of diet, hair-washing, number of days etc.etc.) seems 'unnecessary', to put it mildly!

Posted on: Pregnancy Series 10: Postnatal Recuperation

Sorry, I thought I'd make this point separately - parse the 'Shock Jock' side of my personality from my more measured and reasonable other half:)

Yeah, I'd totally agree with your take on the Western way. Pretending that giving birth and (even more importantly) child-rearing can take place alongside career with no detrimental effects to either one is frankly ridiculous. Now I sound like an unreconstructed chauvinist but, ah, what can you do.

I guess Guolan is right. These are models of two extremes which both look fairly dodgy to me.

Posted on: Pregnancy Series 10: Postnatal Recuperation

"What is your test here? Is anyone seriously hurt by these behaviours?"

My test? I would probably say the extent to which the culture creates 'unnecessary discomfort and suffering' - the word 'unnecessary' is key here, as discomfort and suffering is part of life and to be embraced as such. However, when it is needlessly hoisted upon a person because of misguided and irrational beliefs, this is the point at which one needs to step back and rethink.

Is anyone "seriously hurt". I think we need to define 'hurt'. Let's not forgot, Jenny began this discussion with the words: "Yuezi was the darkest days of my life." She seemed serious. You might say, well, she wasn't really 'hurt'. Well then, by the same token let's agree the majority of African slaves were not really 'hurt' by their enslavement. They were just denied liberty and made to work jolly hard for somebody else's profit, but most lived lives that were moderately healthy and did not experience pain over and above what another person of that era could expect to face. If you want to factor in the 'psychological' pain, well, then I think you would be making my point for me.

'Culture', when properly grounded, imparts joy, creates meaning and offers the tools which can help a person understand the world, forge relationship, create identity and endure hardships etc.etc. Culture which takes a blind, unthinking acceptance of past wisdom while denying the possibility of reconstituting its tenets to fit modern situations, well, frankly, it's doomed.

Posted on: Pregnancy Series 10: Postnatal Recuperation

Sorry Jenny. I know I sound very dismissive of your (very real) experiences, and I don't enjoy being rude (even though I probably sound it in this instance). However, as you can tell, I fairly convinced that you suffered for nothing. I guess my main evidence is that 85% of the world's female population do not observe 月子 and the vast majority are living healthier and longer lives than ever before.