I was asking my gf (ningboese) about the whether xiaojie is just applied to unmaried women like our miss or if can be used for young women in general. She replied by saying NEVER use xiaojie. Its a term that means call girl down in Yunnan and neighbouring provinces. That use of that term is known throughout mainland China so that Xiaojie as a polite term of address is now antiquated. She suggested Xiaomai if you must use something but insisted that you really don't need a replacement term most of the time in daily life.
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