burden
bweedin
October 07, 2009, 09:54 PM posted in General DiscussionI tried to say that my friend who calls too much is a burden and my West brain said, 他很大負擔，but my Chinese friend told me it should be 他給我很大負擔。That's my most recent "no way" sentence.
zhenlijiang
February 03, 2010, 05:57 AMHi oxygem, that sounds too strong to me. "He is a big burden" doesn't sound like that person is a friend at all.
I think I would be more likely to say something like 他经常打电话给我，感觉负担有点重。 Wouldn't that work?
FYI when young Japanese today want to say this of friends, girlfriends and boyfriends, they simply say オモい omo-i (重い = lit. "heavy"). The word gets way overused though.
oxygem
February 05, 2010, 04:47 AMHi zhenlijiang. It really sounds better saying in your way. I was just thinking about the grammars and forgot the emotional facters. :-P
The character of the friend of bweedin is like this:
He likes to trouble others.
他总是爱麻烦别人。
Do you think that a character carried by Western or Eastern people?
zhenlijiang
February 05, 2010, 05:51 AMHey oxygem--we don't know anything about bweedin's friend, certainly not enough to say "he likes to trouble others". We only know how bweedin feels.
Actually I'd like to ask, in this sentence 他总是爱麻烦别人。 doesn't the 爱 here mean more "is always ~ing" (比如： 这个孩子爱拉肚子), than "likes to ~"? In other words, here 总是 and 爱 mean the same thing, and you're adding the 爱 for emphasis?
About your question--do you think that a character carried by Western or Eastern people?--I guess you mean this 总是爱麻烦别人. There are people in all areas of the world, both East and West I think, who have this tendency ...
oxygem
February 06, 2010, 11:27 AMHow are you doing, zhenlijiang? I personally don't like to be called on and on. If I meet people like this, that is to say, to think their things are more emergent than those of the other's, I will run away from them immediately... To bear that kind of burden requires a lot of self-control and politeness of which I'm always lacking.
总是=经常 means all the time. 这个孩子爱拉肚子(This child has loose bowls) is a physical question. It is not at he or her own will. So, 总是 is an objective adverb. 这个孩子总是拉肚子，是因为他/她的身体有问题。But, 爱 means be fond of which is a subjective adverb. And in 爱麻烦别人's case it deals with one's mental question which could be solved at one's own will, provided that he or she could aware the problem. He or she who love to put their things in front of others is childish, and not polite, I think.
zhenlijiang
February 08, 2010, 01:01 AMHi oxygem,
Well just how much is "too much"? Calling a friend "too often" means how often exactly? That's all subjective--个人感觉如何
一定是不同的。是没有正确答案的问题，对吧。
Anyway if you constantly feel burdened, the person calling isn't your friend is he. Self control and good manners are very important of course. In Japan we always say 親しき仲にも礼儀
あり shitashi-ki naka nimo reigi ari (my dictionary gives the English translation "A hedge between keeps friendship green.").
But real friends are there for you too, to listen when you just need to unload and cry and be a baby.
Thanks for explaining about the use of 爱!
oxygem
February 08, 2010, 06:48 AMHi zhenlijiang.
You're welcome. Talking about 爱, I've just realized that Chinese words tend to be used very flexibly. For example, 爱 hadn't have an objective tendency in ancient times, but now a days, people use it as what you have pointed out, an informal word/a slang of always .
bweedin
May 13, 2010, 11:11 AMThanks everyone for your input.
oxygem
February 03, 2010, 05:23 AM他he很大big負擔burden make no sense neither in Chinese nor in English, lacking linking verbs. I suggest that they should be said as follows:
他是个大負擔；He is a big burden.