The funniest most awkward absurd question you've ever been asked...

This isn't an absurd question, but an absurd response to my answer. 家伙：你是哪里人？ 我：澳大利亚人。 家伙：不是吧。 我：哦。。。 家伙：不是。 I get people just flat out denying my heritage. They don't smile and say 那你怎么看起来像中国人？ which happens more often, but middle aged know-it-all men who just shake their head and contradict me.

Tianfeng, LOL.

I've often had students / parents / taxi cab drivers deny that I'm American because I don't have blonde hair and blue eyes.

The questions are always the same, aren't they? I am often asked about my children - I haven't got any - I guess to find out about my marital status. And sometimes, just for fun, I tell them I have six. That usually gets a discussion going, since in China most people only have one or two...

Wildyaks, I suggest in the future you say you have six kids, but from six different mothers so as to usurp Chinese Law... or Chinese officials won't let you and your husband adopt a child... or that you have two because you adopted a Chinese girl but legally married her so you could have your first biological child together.

When asked about my job, I often respond that I'm just in town on business, and that my company is planning to buy xyz taxi company, where xyz is whatever taxi I'm in at the time.

Taipan, only that I am actually the "mother". How could it work then? To have multiple husbands might not work, would it?

Hahaha nice calls everyone. Maybe we should have a lesson on clever answers to stupid questions!

I just flat out get tired of being asked if I'm married, then if I have a girlfriend, then asked why I don't have a girlfriend... and then asked if I'm going to marry a Chinese girl, as if that is the only thing that matters to me when it comes to who best suits me... *sigh* I always see this question coming a mile away. (But I do love the language and the culture, so, uh, being Chinese is a plus! :P)

I used 飞行包, to which I had to had, 在里面有一个小火箭. 戴的时候能让你飞.

"...火箭. 戴的时候能让你飞." OMG, Kyle, that's hilarious! Let me turn the tables around a little bit. A couple of years ago, I was at work doing something at the doctor's station. I had my stethescope draped over my shoulders. An elderly man who seemed frustrated and upset came up to me and started to blurt out a stream of questions about his wife (who wasn't my patient.) Before I could answer) he said to me, "Do you understand English?!?" I was amazed and thought it funny, so just to be funny, I said, " No." What was more amazing was that he believed me, and turned away!!! I guess I seemed "foreign" to him.

I have an opposite of AZERdoc story. I brought a date to a chinese restaurant that i frequent often. My date didn't finish her meal. After the plates were cleared, the chef came out while I was having a conversation with the hostess. He started asking my date, a caucasian, about her dinner....in Chinese, concerned that he didn't do a good job (it's always very good). She knew no Chinese, as you might have guessed. I was unaware, so it went on for a little while. Hilarious.

In response to 你每个月的工资是多少？ You could say 不够.

Mine is dirty so I am not sure if i should post it or not. I will beat around the bush to make it more coded. I was at the gym here in China having a shower and a guy came in and stood there looking at me. Than he said in English, How big? And how can you make love with Chinese girls. I just went with it but I mean a conversation about penises while naked is awkward anyway. That was the PG 13 version so you guys can guess about what the real conversation was like.

Tianfeng?? what's all that about.. are you saying it's akward or are you self-promoting your maleness? The 'do you like chinese girls?' was always pretty akward.. usual response 'sure, i couldn't eat one all at once' .. actually i can see another double-entendre...

How do you say jet packs anyway?