Sex in Chinese?

I think it would be an interesting lesson if the beauty pagent sponsor took 刘佳 to some private place and tries to seduce her.

Some notes on motivation: 1. I've been married 26 years and if I ever had any illusions that my wife is submissive, I was dissabused of them long ago, besides my wife speaks English, not Chinese. So, honestly, I'm not looking for pick-up tips. 2. I think it would expose us to some usage and cultural insights that are hard to find from other sources. 3. I hope my CPOD name and level of interest/ability suggest that there is something other than purely purient interest behind the request.

With all the buildup behind this proposal for a future lesson, I thought I'd just as well look up some vocabulary on my own. However, now I'm slightly anxious about a potential slip of the tonuge at the fruit stand and getting slapped asking for 性交 when I really wanted 香蕉！

Maybe there's the lesson...

No i am not from Tanzania. Dont even know where that is.

I am from England.

Chittywangwang,

You're really from Tanzania ?

As Hotballs is from Djibouti, Africa looks over-represented in this thread. :)

Yes of course~! How do you think I learnt French?!

Bof!

Last message is a answer to Vicius and that's a confirmation of what chittywangwang was saying.

(obviously it wasn't 100% clear).

"Chinese people dont talk whilst in the act so there is nothing to learn."

Do you really mean you have some kind of discussion ?

I don't think there's any "talking" involved at this stage.

sex is dirty and evil.

Can we stop talking about it

Anyway...Chinese people dont talk whilst in the act so there is nothing to learn.

all people in all languages learn sex talking and all they can know about sex before having sex, i don't know why we older people mature people can't learn chinese languaje for sex relations, its just sexual education in another language, and its part of the idiom, and if u are going to learn chinese u must learn all u can, and the words the chinese say in sexual activities are just that words from the chinese language, nothing bad, that bad thing is in your mind. There is nothing bad abouth sex, all our parents have sex and thats why we all are hereee!!!! ohhhhhhmmmm hahah i should write a book XDDDDlol

Let me give it a try (loose translation only):

你提供的信息太多太具体。

How do you say "that's too much information" in Chinese? ;)

I've been married to a wonderful Chinese lady for about three years now. Let me enlighten some people out there that might be thinking that asian women are submissive: Not true! I like to affectionately refer to my wife as "The Warden" LOL.

I've went all over the world when I was in the Marine Corps. I figured out quickly that "sex" is a universal language. One needs no particular set of instructions, if in fact all one wants is to "hook up".

I do see a need for adults to learn some phrases about the subject to keep from being inadvertently embarrassed.

Just my 2 cents worth

wow, from iceberg to hotballs. Good discussion.

The Lonely Planet Mandarin phrasebook has some useful phrases. I never got the chance to use any of them though. ;)

Right now we have *two* series which seem to drive at full speed towards this topic.

Who's "innocence" will be challenged?

Nerd or blogger?

Right now we have to series which seem to drive at full speed towards this topic.

Who's "innocence" will be challenged?

Nerd or blogger?

Ah, male adolescent syndrome. Your brain feels like it's a pimple on a giant gonad, and everything in life is tied to a fundamental motivator that rules every waking word thought and deed, and then it gets even worse at night.

The well adjusted human, in order to maintain some self respect, conveniently assumes that everyone else secretly feels that way. It is difficult to convince them otherwise, and to do so by force could cause them to have adjustment difficulties later on.

Be patient with this boy, Kyle, he is in a testosterone induced stupor that he will grow out of in a few years, even though he must believe right now that his mind and the world as he sees it is actually in its true permanent state. This delusion is necessary in order to preserve sanity, to weather these few years, and to construct a new mature life after the experience. We can only hope that he doesn't commit to anything serious or that involves others, like learning Chinese, during that period when he is compelled to believe these developmentally induced myths.

In this situation it would be much more helpful, and rewarding, to take up a physical activity such as an energetic sport. Even in sporting circles, though, unless everyone else is the same age and gender, it would be necessary to adopt a different kind of name in order to be taken seriously.

"Sex is also a huge motivator for a large chunk of people learning this language whether or not we choose to face up to it."

I have to disagree. Strongly disagree.

Why? Because the people who would choose to learn a language simply "for sex" aren't the type who would invest large amounts of time and energy into a life-long commitment (e.g. relationships, being a decent human being, etc).

I can't speak for others, but I'm quite offended by "hotballs'" comment.

I should clarify. It's possible to talk about sex without being 'pornographic'. We don't need a list of dirty words -we know them all anyway, but things like "sexual assault", "sexual harassment", "sexual intimicacy" and even "sexual positions" are valuable to Chinesepod listeners. Sex is also a huge motivator for a large chunk of people learning this language whether or not we choose to face up to it...

I've only been studying Cantonese for 3 weeks but I've been running the ChinesePod Cantonese Forum for a couple of months before that. We seem to get much more than our share of pornographers trying to spam that forum, and I've often wondered in dismay whether there is some connection between the name of the language and their favourite fetish search words. It could also have something to do with one of the courses we discussed being called "Naked Cantonese" ;-) but we've discussed that elsewhere without noticeable effect.

Thanks, AuntySue. 你鍾意学粤语呀？ 学粤语最近點呀？

Good call pulosm. Let's have a sex lesson that informs and addresses those issues while introducing some types of language to avoid using accidentally and explaining why. That should suit everyone.

BTW, I didn't see anything you said as "getting personal", though I didn't agree with you until you explained your position.

I won't get into this here, but part of the creepiness to me was that I am tremendously concerned with the very situations that lordstanley discusses.

I am not saying that any of this is going on here, but I truly have a problem with the fetishization of Asian women that is prevalent. It is one thing to fall in love and get married to a person of another race--that is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about the obsession and fetishization of Asian women based on latent stereotypes that these women will be submissive to their white husband.

The problem doesn't exist just there. Black people are often sexualized. There is a phenomenon of European men obsessed with Black women as sexual objects, as well as North American women who are obsessed with Black men (i.e., fly to the Caribbean in order to "hook up" with local men and return home to their "normal" lives).

When someone named "hotballs," whose presence in this forum is rather recent and whose level of Chinese is admittedly "newbie," comes here wanting first and foremost to learn about sex, I couldn't help but question is sincerity in learning Chinese in general (other than his suggested trip to the "[Adult] Sex Toys Shop").

Hope I didn't offend anyone, that certainly wasn't my intention. Have your sex lesson. 我无所谓．;-)

If you are a native English speaker, even without the context you'll see quite easily that all of these examples relate to a single topic:

Do you want to do it?

You have nice silky hairs.

Oh, put it away!

Be careful.

She was begging for it.

He made me do it.

Will she go down?

Did they get off together?

This is my first time.

If you've had to learn English as a delayed language, you've probably said some of these lines and wondered why on earth people got the wrong idea, or laughed.

In English we avoid ambiguity, but we use it deliberately for one specific purpose: to indicate that we are talking about sex. If someone says "do you want to... you know" and you don't know, you miss out. On the other hand if someone says "How about it?" and you don't notice their Chinese accent, you will probably make a very embarrassing move and be amazed when you are rejected.

I have no idea how it works in Chinese and what the traps of misunderstanding are for non-Chinese speakers, but surely it's important for us to know about this type of language, just as important as we can see that it is for the English learners.

When I was working in Prague my buddy had a Czech phrase book that included every phrase necessary to begin and end a relationship. For example:

"What's your name?"

"Would you like a drink?"

"How about we go back to my place?"

"I love you."

"Are you on the pill?"

"I can't have children at this stage in my life?"

"I'm sorry. I can't see you anymore."

The hilarious part wasn't what the book taught, but that the book actually followed this exact digression.

With all due respect, Pulosm, a population of 1.3 billion in China is proof to me that sex exists in China and is not just some decadent invention of the immoral West. And if one doesn't find sex in China, sex is liable to find you, especially if one is a Western male businessman on a trip away from the coastal cities. Being taken for a massage or to a hostess bar with your Chinese counterparts after work hours, unsolicited late-night knocks on your hotel room door or phone calls to your room, your hairdresser in the beauty salons of even 5-star chain hotels implying that "extras" are available all are commonplace occurences and require finesse whichever route one wishes to take. I've seen too many foreigners on their first business trip to China damage the deal, their reputation or their conscience when confronted by such scenarios. Lessons on some form of sex theme from Chinesepod are not mandatory, in my opinion, but would not be out of line either, would not be without benefit, and surely would be highly listened to and commented upon. But in Pulosm's defence, maybe the suggestion wouldn't have seemed so "totally creepy" to Pulosm if it had not been made by a user named "hotballs".

well heck;..you can buy that book at your local barnes & noble:

http://www.sinosplice.com/lang/studybooks/making-out-in-chinese

Interestingly, when I googled for this book John's web page came to the top of the list! :-)

Also See:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780804833905

Well, I'm a prude, so be it! I just don't want to see Chinesepod devolving into some sort of "dirty Chinese" book you get in a back alley somewhere. Also, maybe I don't really care--I already know all these words. ;-)

goulniky, yeah, but the consequence of having your overly worried mother-in-law sitting on your bed is a totally underestimated byproduct of intercultural sexual relationships...

;)

No, thinking about it I agree with you all and also vote for a sex lesson. But the more direct expressions are really easy to find out there on the net (esp. after Bazza's glory find).

I would therefore prefer to learn about expressions, symbols, and behavour which are indirectly carrying sexual connotations. To be able to detect spiciness when needed.

I would like to defend Tang and other poetry!

I liked the lesson very much!

Maybe there's some love or erotic poetry to bring these two topics together?

This is no vote (?) against lessons on sex, reproduction, fertility, romantic relationships or dire consequences including STD, offsprings, mothers-in-law or fathers-in-law, kindergartens and other possibly related subjects like artificial insemination, abortion, personal hygiene, ...

And I vote 'Yes' for a sex lesson! Errr, I mean...well you know what I mean.

My apologies.

@pulosm

I work as a translator in court and for police officers, and it's very possible that one day I have to translate rather direct words related to sex, for example when translating for a sex offender, or for a rape victim.

it would be very useful, indeed necessary, to know the correct terms.

Aunty Sue, I'm glad you defend our moral safety ;-)

so I second your (or actually hotballs) request for a "sex"lesson

If you intend to avoid a particular topic of conversation, it is crucial to know the vocabulary in order to recognise that it is one that you want to move away from.

Therefore, those few who are interested in the topic don't need the lesson so much, they'll pick it up, but the majority of us butter wouldn't melt in the mouth types who dread being exposed to such an intensely human topic lest it offend our virtue, need to have this lesson in order to recognise what to avoid.

It is necessary for our own moral safety! Otherwise we are all doomed to invite unseemly suggestions by asking things in polite company like:

What does "性用品商店" mean?

I say bring on the sex!

henning, that's a very Chinese answer. Surely there's more to sex than babies, and as dire consequences go, you may also want to consider /爱滋病 (àizībìng) Regarding relevance, Tang poetry is actually a good example. It is important to at least know about it, possibly talk about it without doing any of it. Limited interest to me and daily usefulness, but part of the culture it's so important to know about, at least show interest in. Same with sex, there's been a lesson on swearing, there's been one on homosexuality so why not, doesn't have to be intimate, agreed with Frank here.

Hey, gang... let's nip this in the bud, shall we? There's no need for anyone to get personal. To answer your question, though, pulosm, I'm an American as well, but I think your feelings on this have less to do with nationality and more to do with personal preference. I understand the point you clarified, but I do think it's possible for someone to talk about sex without being in a situation that requires intimacy. Some people prefer to be prepared. To each his own.

Yeah, Pulosm, not just lighten up, but mind your own business. If you don't like the idea, then address that specifically without getting personal.

I think it would be fun, entertaining and it would hold my attention a lot longer for the grammar points than a lesson on Tang dynasty poetry, for example.Since we're passing judgment, Pulosm, i think you need to lighten up.

Let me clarify: When you need to learn words of intimacy, you will learn them. If you aren't intimate enough with someone just to ask them directly, then you aren't intimate enough with them to use those words at all.

Is it because I am American that I find this request totally creepy?

Well, there is a lesson on its dire consequences:

http://chinesepod.com/learnchinese/%e5%9d%90%e6%9c%88%e5%ad%90/discussion

From my own experience that one is both vocab & content wise of much more importance.

I would also like to see some lessons devoted to sex and things related to sexual activity.