Help! I've been invited to China.
dunderklumpen
June 23, 2009, 03:24 PM posted in General DiscussionHi!
Sorry for cluttering the board with this post but I just got to have a place where to put my thoughts. My head is spinning.
The day before yesterday I took my chinese friends for a trip in my tiny sailboat. When we were sailing the guy asked me if I wanted to go with them to China in 3 weeks. I was stunned. -I'll think about it, I said.
Later on that day he asked me again. I had repressed it. Stunned again. -I have to think.
Go, go, go! I hear you all poddies say; but you remember I'm not a globetrotter. I travel abroad one time per ten years... It's the longest trip I have ever done if it comes true.
At the present I'm still a bit confused. Do they really want me to join their trip? They are living at my place and are going to visit some relatives in China. We have been friends for a few months. The woman has not asked me in personal to come with them, so I wonder if the guy wants to 请 (qing3) me join but the woman don't want to or is not too excited about it. I really don't want to go if I'm considered a burden to anyone of them.
How can I figure out if they both are frank about this? Spending 2 weeks together is a bit more than a casual 10 minute chat in a restaurant.
zhenlijiang
June 24, 2009, 04:04 PMDunderklumpen, not to sound like an old geezer here, but one more thing--opportunities and time are finite (even if you did find the Elixir)! You won't endlessly "always have other chances". We don't even know about next week. Or tomorrow. So if you have a good feeling about these people who have invited you, go go go!
Bodawei, will keep in mind your advice. Had actually wondered about rabies (would not like to die that way), never thought about typhoid or tetanus. The doctor I went to didn't mention any of those, in fact he thought it was quaint of me for wanting a Hep A just to be a tourist for two weeks.
tvan
June 23, 2009, 07:27 PMIf you want to experience a foreign country, a family visit can't be beat. You don't see all the sights that you would on a tour, but your experience will be deeper; and, since you're studying Chinese...
Maybe somebody has a different opinion but, IMO, if they asked you twice, I think the offer is genuine. Also, make sure you check out posts here/collect advice on bringing an appropriate gift. A definite must.
Bottom line, "Go Go Go."
dunderklumpen
June 23, 2009, 09:05 PMliving at my place
Oops, it seems this phrase means they are living in my apartment. My mistake. I just mean they have their permanent residence in the same town as I do and now they are going back to China to visit their relatives.
'I'll think about it (考虑一下)' is often a polite refusal...
I see. So he might have taken that as a no then.
sushan, RJ, tvan,
Thanks for your advice. I have talked to them again and they seem to be honest about asking me to join them. I'm convinced I won't be a face-giving 宝贝; in fact, they suggested I join them after they have visited their relatives, and we can go travel together. They also told me about some ma2fan's that may happen, e.g. quarantine and swine-flu.
I shall have a sleep on it.
RJ
June 24, 2009, 12:06 AMyea and the sky might fall. Go, you will be glad you did. The world is a book, he who stays at home only reads one page - or something like that. :-)
helenshen_counselor
June 24, 2009, 02:09 AMWell! I think they are serious, because they asked you twice. Come on! You are not a burden. They would be really happy if you go with them. Anyway, that doesn't matter! Just join them and come to China!
我们欢迎你！:)
RJ
June 24, 2009, 08:47 AMMarkus,
its only China. You are not going to the moon. (although its just as cool). Sometimes you have to get behind yourself and push a little. You will be glad you did.
bodawei
June 24, 2009, 08:53 AM@dunderklumpen
you should immediately get your vaccinations! A good doctor will give you a program of shots over a period of several weeks - you may have to finish your shots in China!. That is all good fun. But note that Hep B vaccination is normally given in three or four doses, and in China I found that they do not give these shots to adults, only to infants. my wife and I went to an 'infant welfare' clinic for our Hep B shots! It was no problem for the staff of the clinic. And it is a good leanguage practice opportunity.
dunderklumpen
June 24, 2009, 09:14 AMOk, now there's only one mental thing that need to think about. I'm ready to go except for that one thing.
I'm a project kind of guy: I find a hobby, spend an awful lot of time with it, and after a few years (2-3) I get tired of it, thus abandoning it. Then I find a new hobby, go frantic on that one and so on. I fear if I go to China I will think, "Well, that's it. What more is there to do with this hobby? Got to find another one." Thus I would like to save the ultimate experience (go to China) until later, to make the most of this hobby. Hopefully it can last for many years since I really like the people and things I've met/experienced so far. But on the other hand; nothing lasts forever. Maybe I have to accept I am this kind of project guy.
zhenlijiang
June 24, 2009, 09:55 AMDunderklumpen, for some reason I don't think you're going to go this once to China and then think, well then, that's it for this project--you'll only find there's a lifetime of things to keep discovering. As you can see from all the people here. Don't worry about that!
Hep A for me was an injection. I went for my booster within a year of the first one so I'm supposed to be taken care of now for 5-10 (this kind of ambiguity drives me crazy) years. Taking preventative measures for Hep A is a good idea like RJ said, because it's easy to get from things like undercooked street food.
Hope you seize this great opportunity and enjoy!
dunderklumpen
June 24, 2009, 10:28 AMHey, RJ, don't belittle monkey bites; they can be pretty nasty. Makes me think of a 1992's movie by Peter Jackson... ;)
keymagic
June 24, 2009, 10:33 AM中国的文化传统中，好客是很重要的一条。招待客人会被当作大事来对待。只要不是"不速(invited)之客"，邀请您的那位朋友就有充分时间预先替您解决掉您担心遇到的问题。如果您确实对海外旅行感到不适，直接告诉您的朋友吧。看看他们的意见。
bodawei
June 24, 2009, 12:45 PM@RJ, Zhenlijiang
Not trying to scare anyone, really. But your doctor will probably advise that there are vaccinations you need apart from Hep A and B - BTW in my view Hep B is so unpleasant that it is worth 'taking the medicine', or in this case needles. You can catch it through transmission of blood RJ, and in an accident this can be beyond your control. Vaccinations usually recommended include cholera (oral) and typhoid (one injection); both these unpleasant diseases can be caught from dirty water. Also a tetanus shot is a good idea if you are not up to date, in case you are bitten by .. dogs or cats. (I won't mention the M word.) Don't worry about rabies shots, you can get treatment if you are bitten, China is well-organised for this eventuality as dog bites are common.
Hey dunderklumpen - you can do it!
tvan
June 24, 2009, 01:02 PM@dunderklumpen, I suggest breaking your "Going to China" project into sub-projects: First, "Visit my Friends" project. Then, "Hike Leaping Tiger Gorge," then "Hunt Red Deer in Xinjiang with vodka-swilling Kazahks," then "Mountain bike the 茶马路", then "Get drunk and sing karaoke with local bar girls," then... whatever floats your boat.
The only problem with this approach is that it leads to the "Find the Elixir of Immortality" project so that you can finish all the other projects.
@bodawei, are you talking about those stupid baboons on Emei Shan?
bodawei
June 24, 2009, 01:17 PM@tvan
Those stupid baboons nearly eliminated my family line - not to mention caused all sorts of emotional damage, destroyed a holiday, terminated an intended long-stay in China and stole a mobile phone. it is a sensitve topic for us.
BTW I dispute that they are stupid - I have looked deep into the eyes of a murderous mature male Emei Shan monkey and seen intelligence. Calm and calculating intelligence. He wanted to kill me and all I had was a stick (and even greater intelligence.)
dunderklumpen
June 24, 2009, 02:09 PMThanks for your input guys :) I really appreciate it.
I had a look in a dictionary and found the word ponder. I guess it describes my personality at times. What about if this, what about that... Besides, when you go travel as seldom as I do, you want every trip to be the super mega experience of your life. A bit unrealistic...
"Find the Elixir of Immortality" project
@tvan, don't tempt me skip to the next project already ;)
tvan
June 24, 2009, 03:04 PM@bodawei, I meant stupid in the sense of crass and rude. I have an unpleasant story about them as well, but not as bad as yours. I won't burden you with it here; besides, we don't want to scare off @dunderklumpen.
RJ
June 24, 2009, 09:14 AMbodawei
now dont go scaring him with your monkey bite stories :-). Hep B is given in 3 shots - intial, after a month, and after 6 months to establish long term immunity. Unles you plan to have sex, or inject drugs (or maybe get bitten by a monkey) you are not at risk. For a two week visit I dont think you need to loose any sleep over not having the hep B shots. I would recommend everyone gets them anyway, but you know what I mean. You may want to get a Hep A vac which is a couple pills if I remember correctly. This you can catch from food or drink so its a good idea - even if you stay home.
sushan
June 23, 2009, 04:41 PMFrom what you've written, it looks to me like the guy is serious. You've given them a place to stay and taken them on boat rides; he wants a chance to return the favor and friendship. Another, less nice motive could be that having a foreign friend gives him a lot of face in front of his relatives and friends back home. And yes, you might be crushed with hospitality and activities when you arrive.
'I'll think about it (考虑一下)' is often a polite refusal...if you want to bring it up, mention that you have, in fact, been thinking about it and have some questions.
And whaddaya mean 'not a globetrotter'? go, go, go!