Avoid using 谢谢 too much?
dreiundzwanzig
May 24, 2010, 05:22 AM posted in I Have a QuestionAvoid using 谢谢 too much?
Many times I noticed that in "daily business" Chinese people wouldn't say 谢谢 when I personally think (or am trained to think :)) it would be appropriate. By "daily business" I mean the usual situations a far-to-go Chinese learner would find himself in, for example at the convenience store or at a restaurant. I am used to say "thanks" after getting my change, getting my food served by the waitor and so on. I've almost never heard a Chinese saying thanks in these situations.
Now, I also heard that you should sometimes even try to avoid saying 谢谢， because it is said to emphasize a certain distance between you and the person you thank for something. An example would be to if you, as a foreigner, would be married to a Chinese person, got invited by their parents to have dinner at their place and would thank them for invitation, the food, etc. - even if you've already been knowing each other for quite a while.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Any experiences, examples? When do you say 谢谢, when not? Should you actually avoid saying it as often as you're probably used too?
suansuanru
May 26, 2010, 10:48 AMYes,I agree with you on the point.
Chinese people do not often say thanks when they are served by others, I also wonder to know does anyone in western countries say thanks every time when they are served by others? Wont it be too inconvenient?
And,the young people are tend to say thanks when they are served in coffe house\western restaurant.We dont often say thanks to our close friends or family.And i dont think this is improper.
dunderklumpen
I can't speak for other countries, but as for Swedish people, we are raised to say thank you (tack) for every service, ever so tiny. Being given (your) useless small coins (零钱) when you buy something, the food you have paid for in a restaurant or having the salt passed at the table all demands for a tack. Not a loud proclamation, not necessarily making eye contact; however just being quiet would be taken as a bit x (where x should be a suitable adjective that I don't know in english. It should have a slight unpleasant ring though).
dunderklumpen
Swedish television once made a parody on the swedish courtesy. One of the dialogues had this passage:
...
-Hi!
-Hi!
-Thanks for last time. (e.g. wonderful party yesterday, good food or similar.)
-Thank you, thank you.
-Thank you for the thank you.
...
bodawei
May 26, 2010, 03:01 PMI observe that Chinese people DO use 'thank you' when someone does something that is a little out of the ordinary, or if someone gives them unexpected help. Service in a restaurant is expected, so it does not qualify for thanks. A shop assistant serving you is not unexpected, so no thanks are necessary. If the bus driver gives you a ride after you pay your fare, no thanks are necessary. In Australia we always thank the bus driver - even I think this is a little strange after my Chinese experience. To do this in China I would have to fight my way down to the front of the bus, say 'thank you', and then run as fast as I can to the back door before the driver closes the door. :)
But the expression 'thank you' does occur in normal every day life in China.
suansuanru
> To do this in China I would have to fight my way down to the front of the bus, say 'thank you', and then run as fast as I can to the back door before the driver closes the door.
haha
happygo
May 29, 2010, 04:25 PMI do agree with Changye."saying ' 谢谢' won't hurt anyone in any country." You don't have to avoiding.
changye
May 24, 2010, 08:01 AMHi dreiundzwanzig
As you say, Chinese people usually don't expect someone to say "a-matter-of-courtesy thank you", having said that, I think that you might as well say "thank you" when you're not so sure whether or not you say it in China. After all, saying "thank you" won't hurt anyone in any country.
As for the second paragraph, I think I understand what you want to mean, because we also have the same tendency in Japan. Japanese people don't often say "thank you" among close friends and family members. Instead we use other phrases and expressions to express gratitude.