User Comments - Tal

Posted on: The Trouble with Marrying a Foreigner

It is said that 'generalizations are odious', yet I nevertheless suggest that making them, and extrapolating from them, is one way that humans learn. It goes without saying that the generalizations bohan and I indulge in above are not meant to describe all Chinese people and/or society. China is though (as bohan observes) a society where conformity and denial of personal individuality is considered a virtue, so perhaps in this case generalizations are less odious than usual.

This is an area of high subjectivity of course, by which I simply mean that the views and feelings foreigners have of China vary greatly, but can usually be related to their emotions, their personal leanings and experience, and of course the conditions under which they 'learn' about China. For example studying Chinese as a hobby on Chinesepod (and perhaps never actually setting foot in the country except for the occasional whirlwind tour of the big cities and tourist spots), does not, (in my opinion), afford a true experience of life here. Neither does immersing oneself in language study as a kind of pleasant intellectual pursuit in the comfort of the 'ivory tower', (and I'm not knocking it by the way. One of my life's chief regrets is that I did not choose that path myself.)

Some foreigners come to China with rose-tinted spectacles firmly welded to their heads, and it seems that nothing they see and experience here can ever dislodge them. These people probably 'fell in love' (that most perniciously subjective of experiences) with China from afar. As the song goes, we see what we want to see and disregard the rest. Such folk tend to find the expression of any more balanced view unpalatable. Nevertheless I suggest that any truth is to be found by considering both 'sides of the coin'.

Posted on: The Trouble with Marrying a Foreigner

I've been living in a small(ish) city in Guangdong since 2004, I haven't really spent much time in Shanghai, just a few short visits. Whilst there I did fairly frequently notice foreign men with Chinese women however, and they didn't seem to be attracting undue attention. (Although I don't doubt that it happens.) But I can tell you from personal experience that it is ten times worse in the more backward provinces. If you get into a relationship and stay here to live, then it's something you will have to deal with on a daily basis, you don't ever get the chance to forget that you're a foreigner and that many of the natives resent your presence, you don't ever get the chance to just be a 'normal couple', (whatever a normal couple is, lol.)

As for the xenophobia, well people everywhere have that of course. Although I'm a tad surprised you've only just started to notice it. But then looking back I recall that for the first 2 to 3 years in China I didn't, partly perhaps because I lacked any real ability in the language at that time, perhaps because I was still starry-eyed about being in China and had naive expectations of how Chinese people would think and feel regarding foreigners. Ah well... we live and learn.

Posted on: The Trouble with Marrying a Foreigner

哈哈哈, unfortunately that's quite correct, especially outside of the big cities in China, (for which read anywhere except Hong Kong, Beijing, and Shanghai.) In fact I have come to believe that all the talk of cultural differences etc (from Chinese people who are seeking reasons to disapprove of such matches) is usually just a mask for Chinese xenophobia and racism.

Of course that doesn't stop so many Chinese ladies seeking matches with foreigners in hopes of being taken out of China (who can blame them?) and there is a sizable minority of Chinese women who seem immune to the staring and disapproval of their compatriots. I guess that says a lot about the attractiveness and charm of Chinese men.

Posted on: Renting a Car

But then don't the Chinese use the same word for anything that remotely resembles an armchair?

Posted on: Looking for an Apartment in NYC (Part 1)

Thanks.

Posted on: Looking for an Apartment in NYC (Part 1)

The links to download the podcast (both Radio and CD Quality) and the Lesson Dialogue are not working. Please can this be fixed as soon as possible.

Posted on: Karaoke

I think it's so that everyone can imagine their singing is great. When you can't really hear yourself and it sounds pretty much like everyone else, it's easier on the self-image, and keeps the punters coming back.

Posted on: To Shower or To Bathe?

哈哈，吹牛！

Posted on: Chengyu By the Numbers (Part 2)

Yeah I totally agree, these 成语 lessons are the bomb, I'd like to see more of them.

The 的 here doesn't add emphasis veronique, rather it shows that 七上八下 is being used as a descriptive phrase. It describes your heart, your emotion, so the 的 is added to show that.

Here are a few more examples of 五花八门。

五花八门的电视节目让我无从选择。

北京有五花八门的火锅饭店。

世界上有五花八门的人。

Posted on: The Legend of the White Snake (Part 1)

太爽了， 我也非常喜欢这个故事，我很期待看中国朋友讲讲故事有什么意思。对了，在这里你们都能看一看另外一个版本。