那，我看到我错了。我应该说：

欢迎来中文博客社群欧思嘉

谢谢大家!!

欧思嘉

对，我同意。欢迎来中文博客社群欧四家

Thanks ousijia! It was a great idea for a thread! Welcome to Chinese Pod!

There are some great stories here! Tal I particularly enjoyed reading yours!

Rename this thread: Baba identifies the world!

How come you're not working for the FBI or Interpol mate? ;)  Err... yikes, maybe you are!!

taylor04's story reminds me of something very similar that happened to me in China, but I fear the appropriateness threshold would be sorely tested!

Is this the guy?:

It's not too appropriate, but I went into the bathroom of a Century Mart, they had the urinals that are all connected together. Standing next to me was a Chinese guy who kept looking at me and doing a little more than a number one...

偏僻的农村一般都没有真正大学毕业的医生，就是从别人学到怎么 ‘治疗’患者。我女友的妹妹小的时候，不到3岁被开水锅里的水半身烫伤了，烫伤的很重。那时候本地的医生没资格治疗重烫伤患者，因此到目前为止小妹的伤疤很明显，还有手臂拉伸不了直的样子，右边胸部也同重伤。 医生下药和治疗法，女友一直给我说是并不标准的，就像随着迷信而治疗罢了，是因为那种盲目的治疗法，就引起伤口扩大而手臂失去部分功能。

现在当然存着医学技术可以改善伤口，还有医学技术可以把小妹的手臂功能恢复正常，不过关于很多农民在求治疗病的条件下，还总是缺钱的问题。未来，当我的钱够帮她，就要带她去看特治疗那种伤伤疤医学部。我也问过女友，因为小妹的伤疤很重，会不会影响到男人对待他的态度，女友向我发呆，就像她在想我是个笨蛋问道那个问题，回答说你觉得呢？ 难道男人还会喜欢他吗？ 她一说就使我去想了想，奇怪。

我想再添一句，那边的医院不怎么富有设备，旁边有个公用厕所，女友说他小的时候，医院员工常常去其厕所，他们经常带着从医院扔了的废物品，这些非物品经常包括胎儿。还有，贫穷居民，因为钱不够买堕胎药或者副手术费用，所以也经常可见这些人也在那个脏厕所处理胎儿。

健康福利就这么好，恰当公平，一切完美的和那么优质。

Hi changye, i've never seen anything like charity navigator for China based charities, but this might good if you're interested in how much money donated to American charities went to the causes for which they were intended, like earthquake relief.

http://www.charitynavigator.org/

Hi bodawei

You might be right. Even an adamant father (or Big Brother) sometimes needs to pretend to be "understanding" to soothe his naughty children. Actually, Chinese authorities are very "tolerant" (or even generous) to their people in some fields, especailly when it comes to "intellectual property rights".

In other words, the Communist Party definitely needs to give carrots (and circuses) to its "volatile" people, for example, giant illegal download sites like 土豆网 and 优酷网. The right to violate intellectual property right is much more important for both the CCP and its people than human rights here in the PRC.

Does anyone know how many percent of donation from all over the world for the 2008 Sichuan Earthquake actually used for its "original purpose"? I would be very surprised if the number were larger than 30%. 

anybody know any good, reputable charities in China that one could donate to?

Nevermind, I answered my own question (at least regarding charities, not clear about reputability of some of them, although i'm very familiar with the All China Women's Federation, and they seem really good).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_charities_in_the_People's_Republic_of_China

Thanks mate for another great story and confirming.As you say he seems pretty legendary but I'd not heard of him before [I wonder how many poddies have?].I now hope I bump into him if I make it to Shanghai.

Here's one commuters comment:

在上海的坐地铁的上班的人，应该都听说过“胖老师”，他在地铁里给大家讲宝钢腐败的黑幕，我几年前就有所耳闻，但是从来没有见过他本人。今天晚上送女友回家，有一站上来一个胖老头，突然用洪亮的嗓音说道：“大家好！我是胖老师！”。我激动之余，冷静的拿起手机，胖老师对着我的镜头喊道 “yeah！”。

..hehe,I love that he announces himself.One can then sit back and enjoy the free enlightenment.

Yes, haha!  Good work.

xiaophil,

Is this the guy?:

胖老师 talked at me (not with me) for about half an hour on the subway the other day.  To my surprise his English was really good (although much of what he said was clearly memoriezed).  All the people around me were snickering.  This is what I said most of the time, "Uh huh."

So back up.  For the majority of those poddies who don't live in Shanghai, 胖老师 is a fat guy that constantly walks up and down the subway cars giving speeches against corruption.  He is iconic to regular subway users.  It is hard, possibly impossible, not to be amused by him, but as he told me his parents were killed due to corruption, it is obviously no joke for him.

反正，他的口头语是“胖老师，去白度看看... yay!”

Hi tal

Your adventure story about "throwing coins" just reminds me of the male god named "Izanagi" in Japanese mythology, who tried to retrieve his dead wife from hell. In short, the god is Japanese "Orpheus". Thankfully, Izanagi had "a weapon" (peaches), and he deterred his pursuers by throwing three peaches at them.

Speaking of Buddha shaped pears, I wonder if it's offensive to offer a 佛状梨 (佛状离) to a Buddhist.

@Sebire

We've all seen Slumdog Millionaire - we are a bit scared about 'reputable Indian charities' - and even more scared about buying a bottle of water in India - :-)  ..  how do you know which way to go?  

Hi Tal, Changye

I've come in a little late to the Gao Brothers story but I thought I'd throw in my bit. I have actually met them and viewed their Mao figures back in um.. 2007.  This is not particularly challenging stuff, there is more challenging art on display around the country than these (to me) playful little pieces.  The Gao Bros. have done some other stuff that I imagine tests the patience of the leadership more. I found it pretty shocking.  And other artists have been, in my opinion, more daring.  Many have got wide coverage (recognition) overseas.  There actually has been a lot of 'tolerance' in contemporary art in China, although I am not saying that it has not been hotly debated. It is pretty rare that shows are closed down, and lets face it, that happens (sadly) in my country.  The significance of the Gao work possibly lies in that they are widely known.  Changye, I do have a slightly different view on this - I think that this is a kind of safety valve and.. policy. I give the CCP credit for being deliberate (if not open.)  

Tal, you see that many times a day in India. I asked an Indian woman what to do if confronted by a beggar. She said that in general, people shouldn't give money to beggars as it encouraged them, unless they were clearly disabled, whereupon one should give alms. I decided I would rather donate money to a reputable Indian charity than to dole it out on the street - at least then the Indians would know best what to do with it.

Live in China long enough and you'll see some sad and unbelievable cases relating to health, both mental and physical. For example you'll see people with appalling deformities of the face and body, often caused I'd guess by untreated diseases, but also by accidents. (Please don't post any pics of this anyone.) I don't mean every day, but you'll see it.

And then there are the beggars of course, many of whom will flaunt such handicaps if they have them, especially when they see a foreigner.

For example one time I was visiting some little market area in 重庆 with my wife (to be) and her sister, (I forget where exactly.) The two of them were nattering away and wandering off ahead, leaving me to tag along behind and fend for myself. Women!

All of a sudden there's a guy in front of me excitedly stripping off his jacket and shirt, right there in the street with interested bystanders quickly gathering. He'd seen a lone 老外 and there was just one thought in his head: payday! He was obviously well practiced, because it must have been less than 5 seconds before two handless stumps were being held up in front of my face. (Coming to China is character building you know.)

Now I'm generally a soft touch, and I'll give to these people, (I mean what's a guy with no hands gonna do in China? Sing for his supper?) But picture my predicament if you will. I'm in a totally unfamiliar place, with a handless man boldly wagging his stumps at me, and I can see my wife and her sister disappearing into the crowd, and if I don't catch up with them quickly I'm gonna be lost and embarrassed. Actually I'm already embarrassed, there are people looking at me, waiting to see what I'm gonna do, and I just wanna get the hell out of there. I start fishing in my pockets, but the only money I've got is coins. I took 4 or 5 RMB (in coins!) out of my pocket and hold them out to this guy, desperately wanting him to take them. But he can't frickin' take them, because he's got no hands!

I look desperately in the direction of my wife's disappearing back, there's just a few seconds left and she's gone. I look back at the guy and do the only thing I can. I put the coins on the ground in front of him and hightail it. There's a groan from the onlookers. Contempt? Disappointment? Because it hits me. How the hell is that guy gonna pick them up??

When I finally catch up with my wife (to be) my face must have been scarlet.
"你没事吧?" she says.
"没事儿，没事儿," I gabble, not even daring to look back.

So much for universal health care.  Like us 'mericans can talk.

Hi bababardwan

I don't know why, buy I'm a little moved by the story "Chinese Woman Pregnant for 58 Years". Life is tough.

Chinese Woman Pregnant for 58 Years

In Sichuan China, a doctor preformed an X-ray on a 90 year-old woman and found that she was carrying a dead fetus for 58 years.

The old lady named Wong, lives in Qing Sheng Province.  In February this year, she hurt her back while she was trying to carry a bucket of water.

The family took her to the hospital 2 months later for an X-ray.  That’s when the doctors found out that there was a dead fetus in her uterus, though it was severely distorted.

The woman recalls in May 1949, she was pregnant with her second child, but the baby was never born even far after the due date.  She went to check and her doctor told her that she had a still birth.  She didn’t have money to pay for the operation so she decided to leave it.

For 58 years, she didn’t feel that it was bothering her at all besides carrying a big belly all the time, and now it’s already became a part of her body.  The doctors said the fetus might already be calcified, but it’s still a miracle.

In 2005, there was an 81 year-old lady in Thailand carried a still birth baby for 58 years.

here

Buddha shaped pears:

This is a very interesting thread :-) Love the pics, love the stories.

Hi tal

I just can't believe that the brothers are still working in the PRC! Probably it's not that Chinese authorities are generous/tolerant, but just that "I am just a little artist, and they have to deal with Xinjiang, and Tibet, and migrant workers losing their jobs. If they start jailing people like me, the prisons will be full very soon, as they say. 

  baba, 你的Photoshop技术越来越好！The Great Sage is smiling!

看了一个小时，都不知道这个网站是中国人开的还是外国人开的，呵呵，如果外国人开的，倒是发现现在外国有很多人在学习我们国语喔。

怪不得你不认识那个锁链。我们的朋友告诉我他错了，那个锁链是别人的【folks who were staying in the hello kitty room].这是你的锁链，对不对？ ：

Cheers everyone! So glad this tale was well received!

Now that you've mentioned 毛泽东 and bizarre stories in the same post changye, you've reminded me of this piece I saw this morning in the UK news. Chinese friends may be shocked, but as baba said: 我只是通过信息上!

Hi tal

Thanks a lot for your "bizarre" story. Looks like the world is more hilarious than I thought before. As for the Hello-Kitty rooms, probably they are for ladies. I guess the hotel also has Gozzila rooms for gentlemen, and Doraemon rooms for couples/families. 

Some Chinese people do seem genuinely fascinated by Nazi Germany though.

After all, the PRC is the country where Mao-zedong (毛泽东) is a national hero.

没门儿，不是我的！

等一下，他送我一个照片的tal's东西：

天啊！我一直不知道那些东西在哪里啊！

嗯，总之，他可以就保留，我还是买新的吧！

再说，我希望人家都会知道baba是开玩笑的！

哎哟，每个人都有难言之隐 Baba，就算 Tal 同学肯定也有。我很不好意思，听到同学下课后爱用什么种类的玩具或者辅助工具 ...

barbs - you are incredible mate.. 

This is so bizarre - don't get complacent, China continues to surprise.. 

。。would you believe,I currenltly have the very same pleasant chap on skype as I type.你有一个问题？

btw,he's just asked me to let you know you left some 很有意思的玩具，hang-on,he's also saying 鞭子 【有什么意思？】 和 锁链 【再 有什么意思？】。。所以，他问你，在哪里可以送你的东西？

Oh boy, am I astonished! 

That was the place!!  What do you do for an encore baba? An interview with the 老板 in the 'Germany' room??

!!!!!

@tal

That really is a great story, I loved it.  And the sentiment expressed by the 老板 in a way does not surprise me.  I was going to tell you why, but I don't want to start an open debate about national stereotypes - there is already a bit much of that in China.  Lets just let the story stand - its a good one.   

Cheers guys, glad you enjoyed!

If I've inspired anyone to go looking for the Embassy Hotel you may be disappointed however. Being a glutton for punishment I planned to stay there again on my next visit, (it was pretty cheap after all!) Sadly the Hitler loving boss didn't respond to my emails. When I visited the building a little later the doorman told me it had been shut down by the tourist authorities for being unlicensed. Personally I think the 老板 must have just made the mistake of booking a Teutonic visitor into 'Germany'!

tal,

hehe,maybe if you mumbled over the "swa" and emphasised "stika" in an enthusiastic way the young and innocent would be into it.Of course I know that you know I was referring to Hello Kitty heaven,hehe.

(I know you're just dying, as always, to hear what I think, haha)

Yeah great story Tal, thanks for the tour. Now even I won't forget the Embassy Hotel.
我有一点不好意思, to see the pains you seem to be taking not to make us 日本朋友 feel bad about how we're represented in the UN of wrong-idea hotels!
Of course Hello Kitty herself is the greatest Japanese ambassador we can think of ourselves. That is a no-brainer.
No deliberate disrespect here I'm sure--even though their decision is very telling--the planners of the hotel probably simply sat down to chat about the decorations for all the rooms and thought, "What about Japan does everybody know and like?" "And won't provoke any "sentiment" whatsoever?"

Personally have no objection at all to have those kitch little symbols like geisha and samurai and ninja totally overlooked--really.

好球 Baba, nice assist!
Tal's story is even better with the Japan episode written as a postscript.

Are you suggesting little girls are naturally attracted to Nazi iconography? (Just kidding!!)

You know looking back I think the 'proprietor' may have just simply had a Nazi fetish obsession interest. I noticed he always seemed to wear a black shirt, and one evening I even caught him with a scarlet armband on. I feared the worst, but when I got close enough for a good look the logo was not a swastika. I think it was a coffee cup or something. But it was close enough!

Some Chinese people do seem genuinely fascinated by Nazi Germany though. I once had a heated discussion with a student who believed that Hitler was 'a clever man, a man who loved his country and was strong enough to lead it.' He (only just) stopped short of telling me that the world would be a much better place if Nazi Germany had not attacked the Soviet Union, but he was quite clear that Britain and the US would have been no match for a German army fighting on a single European front.

hey tal,thanks for indulging my curiosity.Very interesting.I would have not been able to resist another chat with the proprietor along the lines of "you shenme yisi?"  But I personally wouldn't have complained..little girls would love it despite the cultural omissions,hehe.

OK mate I'll come clean. I did see 'Japan'. Mine host gave us a quick look when the delights of 'Italy' began to pale. I fear our Japanese friends here would not have been impressed!

Decorated in pastel shades of pink and pale blue, 'Japan' was Hello Kitty World!

A big faux silk Hello Kitty bedspread hung on the wall in the place which in every other room was occupied by the national flag. Err... except for 'Germany'. There were cutesy little pictures on the walls like the one above, a Hello Kitty coverlet on the bed, and, you guessed it, a small pink plastic Hello Kitty glued to the top of the 'bedside cabinet'. I think there was even a Hello Kitty shower curtain in the tiny 'bathroom'.

No sign was to be seen of the rich and ancient Japanese culture, not even so much as a Geisha girl doll! Perhaps it was supposed to disrespect Japan and be some kind of revengeful act!

Anyway being in there for less than a minute made me feel like I had a headache coming on, so we ended up staying in 'Italy' for one more night.

Great story tal;thanks for sharing.I love a good theme.I think of the US as the place to go to find a good theme happening.Perhaps this is 'cos of Vegas.I thought you would have taken a peek at "Japan" after your discussion just to see what was there.Was there some sort of map you were following to work out where the different ones were or were you just lucking on them from labels on the doors?

The first time my wife and I went to Hong Kong we were keen to economize, so she had booked us into a ‘budget hotel’ amusingly called ‘The Embassy Hotel’. She had heard of it through a friend I think. It was in one of those high buildings on Nathan Road. We squeezed into a tiny lift, ascended several floors, and then squeezed through a narrow door to enter a tiny lobby.

As we checked in at the tiny front desk, I found myself rather shocked to see a framed picture of Adolf Hitler hanging on one wall. It was only slight consolation to me that Margaret Thatcher was on the facing wall, with George Bush (junior) just round the corner. This was a totally new and unexpected situation to be in. It was one of those times in life when no previous experience has given you a clue what to do. What was an appropriate response? Should one say something? Speak out with some sort of indignant complaint? Storm out and look for accommodation where images of war criminals were not openly displayed? I looked around at the few other people there, all of them Chinese. No one seemed to think there was anything odd about this situation. I was tired of course, eager for a drink and a lie down, so I kept my mouth shut.

It turned out that each room was named after a country. ‘America’ and ‘England’ were the best rooms in the place, they had windows and just enough room to swing a cat. We were in ‘Italy’. I was dismayed when I saw it. No windows, maybe 5 or 6 square feet of floor space, nowhere to put clothes or belongings. But there was a big Italian flag pinned to the wall above the bed, a little picture of the leaning tower of Pisa on another wall, a faded postcard of Sophia Loren, a tiny plastic model of Michelangelo’s David glued to the top of the miniature ‘bedside cabinet’. Someone is thinking big here, I realized. There’s a mind somewhere around here with a concept.

Later I met the manager, a young Hong Kong guy who told me he’d done a degree in ‘Hotel Management’ in the UK. I couldn’t resist asking him about the Hitler picture.
“You know some people might consider that rather offensive,” I told him.
“Why?” he said, with an innocent look.
“Well… you see in Europe, nobody would put a picture of him on the wall like that. It would be bad taste. He caused the deaths of millions of people, caused a lot of dreadful suffering.” He really didn’t get it though.
“But it’s just history,” he said. “That picture is just art.”
I tried a different tack.
“Look,” I said. “Imagine you came to my home in the UK, and on the wall you saw a picture of the Japanese Emperor Hirohito. How would you feel?” He really seemed to think it over for a moment.
“I wouldn’t mind,” he said. “To me it would just be… err… history.”
There really are no closed minds like the closed minds of the young I thought, and gave up. I guess the vast majority of my fellow guests were Chinese travelers. They always seemed surprised to see me there, even in Hong Kong.

I didn’t really enjoy my stay in ‘Italy’. Each night I would be kept awake for a long time by a scrabbling, scratching noise from the floor above. (I imagined it must be some kind of factory, I pictured rows of little Filipinos making things on machines, but it turned out to be the sound of hundreds of Mahjong tiles being shuffled about. It was some kind of night club I guess.) Anyway I persuaded mine host to move us into ‘America’ for the final night of our stay. This was much grander. The Stars and Stripes were pinned to the wall here of course, and it was a little model of the Statue of Liberty that was glued to the top of the bedside cabinet. There was a framed picture of Mount Rushmore, and a poster featuring the image of every US president, with a kind of quiz to guess who they were. I actually got as far as James Madison before I got fed up.

Of course I couldn’t leave without sneaking a peek at ‘England’ when a family from Beijing checked out the next morning. Just as I expected, there was the Union Jack, there was the picture of Winston Churchill giving a V for victory, there was the little red telephone box glued to the top of the ‘furniture’. I came out humming West Side Story, and saw that the door of ‘Germany’ was open. Of course I had to sneak a peek there too.

The walls were painted a deep burgundy red. An enormous red flag with a black swastika at the centre was the main feature. Another framed image of the Führer of course, but also one of Hermann Göring pinning a medal on some beaming Messerschmitt pilot’s chest, rows of proud BF 109s visible in the background. Glued to the top of the furniture was… hell, I don’t even remember, I was so stunned. The overall effect was a Nuremberg Rally in a closet.

I went back to ‘America’ to get my camera actually. No one will ever believe this unless I photograph it I thought. But of course I’d forgotten to recharge the night before, and we were due to check out in an hour or two. Perched on the end of my bed, sipping my last cup of tea, I gazed into the eyes of Ronald Reagan, (the final entry in the President Quiz.)

“Well Dutch,” I thought. “You’re in good company here.”

In fact, most Chinese are helpful. I am a Chinese. I can help you in your chinese learning. And I would like to learn English, it will be kind of you to help me in my English learning.

@ousijia

Great story.  I once asked a Chinese friend what really happens to these guys who get dragged away in this manner.  He said in English  (perhaps his translation was awkward) that they are taken away for 'special treatment'. 

I'm going to have to think carefully about this, I have a number of anecdotes but cannot select one now.

Straightaway though I have to say thanks to ousijia for both this thread (great idea!) and that wonderful story. I particularly liked the detail of

the poor man who had helped with my bags received a hit to the head by a baton and escorted away by the policeman.

That'll teach him! How could he be so unChinese? In China it seems, no good deed goes unpunished, (quite literally!)

A guy who smokes a cigarette in the tub at a public bath. I saw one (again) last evening.

Kindness is never wasted: ) Bless all kind people.